Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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