im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
