forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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