Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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