Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
