So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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