the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
