Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
