She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
