real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
