come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
