Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
