Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
