i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
