Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I bet he comes in French.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
