I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
