vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
