No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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