he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
