Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
