I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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