I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
