ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
