My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
