did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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