You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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