i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Randomize
