This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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