We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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