i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
