You smell like a Billy Joel song
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
