i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish I only lived at night.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
