she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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