the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
