i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
