tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
