shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
