Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
foreskin is a definite game changer
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
