You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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