ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
