i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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