She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
