They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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