Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
