idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
