You smell like stripper and shame
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
