STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
