it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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