So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
