2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
